I will never be an Angel
Yesterday my Victoria’s Secret catalog came in the mail. Why do I buy Victoria’s Secret? Well their sportswear is awesome! As a small chested girl who likes to spend most of her time in sports bras, a good sports bra that doesn’t create a uniboob is very much sought after. However, glancing through the catalog and wishing I had money for a surfboard, I got my usual slight tick of rage. Arms and legs that skinny don’t happen to anyone unless you’re a growing teenager, or way below where your body fat percentage should be. No wonder until a certain person came along (cue Jesse) I would never wear a bikini unless I knew I didn’t have to eat practically all day. Thus, I rarely wore a bikini.
Cue cross fit. I don’t do cross fit, because it just takes a lot more mentally to keep good form at that speed than I really have. However, I subscribe to boxlife magazine, and here is the main reason why.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0JuRwlziYk
I remember the first time I say a picture of a cross fit girl like this. Look at her! Her stomach, it pouches! Her thighs, they touch! And damn she’s hot! It was a revelation; a ray of sunshine. My whole life I had been looking at girls I could never be, and fighting the mental image in my head of what made someone beautiful. It meant that I had to fight myself every time I ate for performance and not for beauty. I knew it was good for me, and knew it would make me feel better mentally and physically, but every time I did it a voice in the back of my head would whisper “You are less than they.” However, now I could stare to my heart’s content at these women, fit and proud, who were beautiful and who were not sticks with boob jobs. How sad is it that I had to wait until cross fit took off to have a visual role model of what I wanted to become? Of something I could become, and stay happy, healthy, and kick ass?
So perhaps this isn’t completely along the lines of my usual blog post, but I think it is important. If you are going to perform as an athlete, you have to eat. If you want to lift, build muscle, and eat ice cream weekly, you need to have some sort of body fat. Thus, if you are going to be at peace with yourself, you have to replace the images of what you cannot be, with beautiful images of what you can. Reclaim your media inside and out. Fill your world with real pictures of women. And go forth, be proud of the beautiful person you have become, and someday the Victoria Secret Angels will look like us.
This Week in Updates
Victory again for buying in bulk! I left my honey and work and was despairing because I needed flax seed and didn’t know how I could afford it. In my experience, flax seed costs at least $5 a bag. Even worse, I went to the Co-Op and I discovered it was $8 a bag! $8 for one measly one pound bag! Lucky for me, my pained face brought me to the attention of a grocery store attendant, who comforted me and dragged me back to the bulk food aisle. There, lo and behold, ungrounded flax seed was being sold for about $2/pound. Sure I have to grind it myself, but at a savings of SIX DOLLARS? WOW! So I bought another container of honey AND some flax seed. Now if only next week I can have enough to get some more coconut oil.
There comes a point in any sort of learning experience, where you feel like you are beginning to get the hang of things. This is that moment. Weighing all my food and counting in dollars (not just estimated 5 dollar increments) is not only coming easier to me, but feeling more natural. My math skills are becoming much better, and my sale sense is getting honed. The recipe I came up with this week surprised both me and my taste buds. While I still have a lot of improvement to do (I am still buying in organic instant coffee) I’m feeling pretty good about this whole thing. It’s all working! It’s possible! I even bought toothpaste, hair ties, AND deodorant all at the same time! You know your a budgeter when you are ecstatic over finding toothpaste on sale. And being a budgeter who is doing good for the earth at the same time feels pretty good.
This Week I was Feeling…..
Memorial day weekend called for an old favorite. Who can resist marshmallow, caramel, and chocolate all together? This and half baked illustrate the true genius of B&J.
The Recipe: Easy Lentil Loaf
Super easy, and tastes just like I remember mom’s meatloaf tasting. If you are feeling less cheap, the ketchup can be replaced with tomato sauce.
Ingredients:
1 cup dry lentils
1 head of collard greens or greens of your choice
1/2 cup ketchup
1 1/4 cups dried oats
2 eggs
Thyme, pepper, and salt to taste
Cook lentils and drain. Fry the collard greens. Mix it all together and bake for 40 minutes at 350 degrees in a greased pan. Top with more ketchup. Make a pretty design! Let sit and cool for 10 minutes, then enjoy!
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