Yeah, this totally happened.

I am surrounded by people on diets. Whether it is to lose weight or to gain muscle mass, the people around me rave about clean eating, and how after two months of it “they don’t even want ice cream anymore.” One time while happily eating a bag of fake butter covered microwave popcorn, a coworker politely informed me that there were smaller sized bags available for sale. If I could have cut him with my eyes, I would have.

I once counted myself within these ranks. I eschewed all forms of fried food and sweets. I pretended to like salads. I guarded my closed lips with iron will power, counting calories and protein grams, and lived off the nights when I went to bed feeling hungry.

I totally want to try this fried mac and cheese recipe from The Fork Bite!

I was kind of miserable. When I, at least, constantly say no to food, to pressure within my builds. I would think about food all the time. Would watch people eating, pretending to be disgusted but really watching every French fry enter their mouth. When I broke, I stuffed everything and anything into my mouth with wild abandon until I literally would feel like throwing up. If I was already cheating, I wanted to get the most out of it.

My new local obsession. Ben and Jerry’s is all the way from Vermont! This is almost as good.

But when I cheated, I felt horribly guilty. The pressure on women to be thin beautiful, or if they are not, to at least always be trying, is like a chain. It’s a weight always present, and always it takes away from wonderful moments. Dinner with friends, free doughnut days at work, a day at the beach, or a romantic dinner with someone you are attracted to.

Let’s not forget the simple joy of food. Licking the cookie dough spoon, chocolate ganache, slices of cheese, a good burger, walnut dessert crust, pizza, fried macaroni and cheese, fried snickers bars! The joy of someone biting into something delicious guilt free, is one of the pinnacle joys (I think) of being alive. Especially when a fellow foodie next to you, is moaning in ecstasy at the same time. Okay, let me rephrase, eating delicious food guilt free with people you love, is one of the most wonderful things in the entire world.

So I fight this 100% or nothing clean eating, diet approach. I put healthy foods in my mouth, and I enjoy them, and I put pints of ice cream in my mouth, and I enjoy those too. I’ve found that I eat less food and more healthy food this way, because I only eat what I really want to eat. In comparison to a pint of top grade Ben and Jerry’s, a cheap Safeway cinnamon roll isn’t good. Sometimes I look at the dessert menu at a restaurant, and I really don’t want anything. I have had a craving or two for good salad, though it always surprises me when that happens. I work out, and I strive to find the weight point my body likes to be at. If I’ve been hungry all day despite lots of oatmeal, beans and rice, kale, and fruit, well then it is time for some ice cream fat therapy. If I do eat too much, I refuse, to the best of my ability, to feel guilty. I love eating. There, I said it. I love fat, and sugar, and cheese, and everything fried. I also like apples, green onions, mangoes, sorbet, and roasted carrots. Everything in moderation. However, no matter if what I love to eat is healthy or not, I refuse to let the weight of societal norms take that joy away from me.

This Friday night’s quick, cheap, egg pizza. A simple indulgence for this week’s recipe!

This Week in Updates: Going on Vaca!

That’s right, I’m going on vaca, or “vacation”. Thus, this week has seemed a little weird to me. I feel like things are just heating up at work, and here I am leaving. Thus, my mind isn’t really on sipping drinks in the Bahamas. I want to get my C-27 qualification done, cook a few more recipes, and go running. I’m a terrible A type personality, I know. Thus I’m exhausting myself now, with extra workouts, and a lot of cooking, before leaving at 5am tomorrow for the airport. I don’t know what all of this means for blog posting next weekend. We shall see!

The Recipe: Easy and Cheap Egg Pizza

Some Friday’s you just gotta have some pizza, and this is as inexpensive and tasty as you can get! The crust is easy, the sauce is just store bought spiced canned organic/local tomatoes (YUMMY, and only $1.20) and the flavorful sheep cheese on it means that you don’t need much, but you still get tons of flavor. An easy way to throw something together and have a delicious night.

Ingredients:

1/2 can chopped/crushed tomatoes with oregano and garlic

1/2 batch pizza dough, I used this recipe

2-4 eggs

1/4 cup sheep cheese or other flavorful cheese of your choice

Roll out pizza dough and top with ingredients, including the raw eggs. Bake on a baking sheet at 450 for 10 to 15 minutes until the crust starts to brown. The eggs should also be firm to the touch. Enjoy!